How to Write a Developing Friendship

If your characters don’t know each other at the beginning of your novel, then you’re going to be writing the birth of that friendship.

Awkward small talk, nervous energy…oh the joys of meeting someone for the first time, romantic or not.  

Nurturing a new friendship in fiction takes care and attention, so if any of the following sounds unappealing, you might consider writing an established friendship instead, wherein your best buds are already attached at the hip when the novel starts.

But if you’re ready to take your readers on a journey of these two becoming connected for life, then you’ll want to plan it with as much intention as you do the actual plot of the novel. There will need to be story beats, progression, rise-and-falls, and maybe even a climax.

A helpful way you can begin to develop your characters’ friendship is to consider how the characters meet, how they converse, and how they eventually show concern for each other.

How the Characters Meet

There are two important scenes to plot out here: the first meeting and the second meeting. It’s helpful to plan out the second meeting first and then work backwards.

Think about how many people you encounter on a daily basis. Then think about how many friends you have. The ratio is likely quite small. If you work off the assumption that the characters will meet again simply because they had a friendly conversation, you might end up with a shallow foundation that lacks authenticity.

Answering the following questions should help to inspire you.

Question 1: What common goal will your characters share?

You’ll need to know the basic plot of your novel before you answer this question. Their common goal should relate to the main problem that your story is about. Is there a monster they both wish to slay, an honor they long to achieve, magic they hope to acquire?

This doesn’t mean they have to want the exact same thing. For example, if they both want to slay a monster, they will likely have very different reasons for wanting to do so. Thomas might feel a duty to protect the kingdom, while George is out for revenge after the monster killed his family.

Question 2: How can your characters help each other achieve this goal?

The best fictional friendships tend to begin from a place of need or personal benefit. Unless the pair have some kind of insta-love connection, they’re unlikely to pursue a friendship based on the first conversation alone. There has to be something they can gain from close proximity to the other.

Continuing with the monster example — Thomas might be a knight with years of fighting experience. George has been tracking the monster for a while and knows how to find it. In this case, both Thomas and George could benefit from what the other brings to the table.

Question 3: Are both of your characters open to receiving this help?

Think about the personality of each character and why they are pursuing this goal. Will assistance from another character be unwelcome? If George is out for revenge, will he object to Thomas being the one who actually slays the beast? Is Thomas so arrogant that he refuses to accept help from a commoner?

It’s going to be substantially more interesting if you approach this in one of four ways:

1. One of the characters does not want to give or receive help, but the other character is persistent.

2. Neither character wants to work together, but they are forced to by someone else.

3. Neither character wants to work together, but a situation arises that makes them desperate enough to agree.

4. Both characters want to work together, but there is something preventing them from doing so.

If you go with option 2 or 3, consider who will be forcing them together (option 2) or what will happen to create desperation (option 3). If you go with option 1, think about what is motivating the persistent character to keep pushing when they are clearly not wanted. If you go with option 4, think about what obstacle is keeping your two characters apart.

Question 4: And finally, how do your characters meet?

Now we get to the two specific scenes you need to plan: the first and second meeting.

The second meeting will likely be the start of their partnership. This is the moment when they realize the benefit or necessity of working together.

The first meeting will likely be either an acquaintance or an awareness of the other.

For example, George is in the city, warning people about the dangers the monster poses if left free to roam the woods. A troupe of knights happens by (Thomas among them), and Thomas’ companions mock George for being crazy. But Thomas is intrigued. This is the first meeting.

Based on details George shared in the street, Thomas ventures into the woods. The two characters collide when the monster shows up, and they make a narrow escape. During this scuffle, at least one of them realizes how they might make use of the other’s skills. This is the second meeting.

The key is to plan the second meeting ahead of time, so that you can drop breadcrumbs leading to it in the first meeting.

How the Characters Converse

Dialogue should serve a deeper purpose than to entertain your readers. Even snappy banter has purpose when it moves the plot forward. Writing good dialogue is another topic entirely, but suffice to say, you should plan what your characters discuss with as much care as you plan the things they do.

The conversations they have will become concepts for scenes. Again, we’re going to get inspiration for these scenes by answering a few questions.

Question 1: What do your characters need to know about each other to attain their goal?

Let’s say that one way George tracks the monster is using some kind of magic. Thomas will need to know that if they’re going to be hunting this thing together. Let’s also say that Thomas did something wrong before leaving home and is now a fugitive. George will need to know that if they’re suddenly pursued by a bunch of castle guards. Two to three things per character is probably sufficient. Too little and your plot may not be complex enough; too much and you risk overloading the reader or worse, falling into a predictable pattern of reveals.

When making your lists for each character, include both “need to know eventually” and “need to know immediately.” Just because George needs to know that Thomas is a fugitive to accomplish their goal does not mean that George needs to find out in the first few chapters. What we’re trying to establish here is what information pertains to their working relationship and not their personal one.

Question 2: What should your characters know about each other to become friends?

If your characters are going to be friends, what deep, personal details should they be aware of? George’s family was killed by this monster. Does Thomas need to know that to work with him? Probably not. If Thomas inquires why George is hunting the monster, George could offer any number of reasons to avoid telling his new partner the truth. It’s not necessary for Thomas to know.

Likewise, is it necessary for George to know what Thomas did to become a fugitive? It might be nice for George to know that Thomas isn’t a murderer, let’s say, but are the specifics necessary?

These two personal traumas become opportunities to confide in each other. When each becomes comfortable enough to share these personal backstories, you’re starting to enter friendship territory.

Question 3: How can you foreshadow the reveals you listed in questions 1 and 2?

Foreshadowing is where you drop hints to a later plot point. In this case, how do you drop hints at the professional and personal details you’ll be revealing about each character to the other?

Imagine Thomas and George are passing through a town and hit up a bar to get something to eat. The waitress flirts with George, and Thomas teases him. But George is growing uncomfortable because he recently lost his wife to this monster, and he starts to get annoyed at Thomas’ ribbing. When the irritation becomes particularly tense, that brings their developing friendship to a skidding halt. Thomas learns that George has a resistance to female companionship, while George is wondering if he can trust this newfound companion with his emotional past.

So make a list of what incremental details you can reveal. For George’s secret, this could look like this:

• George has no romantic partner.

• George is not looking for a romantic partner.

• George’s former romantic partner has died.

• George’s former romantic partner was killed by the monster.

• George’s former romantic partner was killed by the monster while George was away.

What you’re trying to do here is prevent an info dump where one character spills their entire life story over the course of several pages. Yes, there may be a big scene where the pieces of one’s past finally fall into place, but you shouldn’t save everything for that scene. There should be hints to these reveals peppered into their dialogue throughout the story. Once you have a list like the one above, you can start to frame how the other character learns this info through specific scenes and conversations.

The above exercise should give you a decent list of topics your two characters will discuss throughout the novel. You’ll also fill in with conversations that relate specifically to the plot and not necessarily to each other’s backstory. For example, Thomas and George may discuss theories of where the monster came from and why no one believes it exists. They will also discuss where to take the hunt next, based on the evidence they see.

Plot-related conversations should unfold naturally, but you can definitely plot them out in advance if you’re big on planning. When it comes to writing the developing friendship, however, it’s the conversations that help them get to know each other better that truly matter. Having a blueprint for that really, really helps.

Question 4: And finally, how do your characters converse?

The last thing to consider once you have the topics they will discuss is how they will discuss them. Will they be friendly, cordial, professional, patronizing, tormenting, etc.? Decide how each will speak to the other, and how that might evolve throughout the novel.

For example, Thomas might patronize and bully George when they first meet. That evolves into professional respect, which then evolves into friendly admiration. Consider how their interactions will change as they become more and more acquainted. And further, consider what the turning points will be where their attitude towards the other may shift from acquaintance to something more akin to friendship.

How the Characters Show Concern

People worry about their friends. They worry about their health and physical wellbeing, they worry about their emotional and psychological wellbeing, and they worry about their comfort and happiness. Scenes of care and concern are often readers’ favorites, especially if they are reading specifically for the friendship.

As a writer, you’re probably aware of this. You probably also enjoy writing those scenes just as much as people do reading them.

And anytime you want to do something, you’re liable to rush to do it without proper planning. And if you write one character freaking out about the other almost dying in chapter three, it’s going to feel forced and contrived. You have to build to it.

Start by considering four points of progression throughout the friendship.

Question 1: At what point would your character miss the other if they left?

If you’ve been following this model, then you’ve already established that each character needs the other one for some personal benefit. So if one character left, they would certainly miss what that character was adding to the attainment of their goal.

However, what you want to consider is when your character would miss the actual person, beyond the contributions they’re making to the goal. When do they start to enjoy the companionship aspect of the relationship? This could be the character’s sense of humor, their calm and confident nature, their optimism, their understanding and sympathy. What does your character find endearing in the other character, and at what point can you start to show that?

Showing (as opposed to telling) is essentially an indirect way of conveying something. Instead of Thomas thinking in the text, ‘I love George’s sense of humor,” you instead show Thomas laughing at something George says. And maybe we also notice Thomas’ tough exterior start to soften. Maybe he’s less harsh with George. These are signs that something is changing. This also ties back into the final question from the previous section (how do your characters converse).

Question 2: At what point would your character speak up out of obligation to protect the other?

This is getting closer to genuine concern, but it will usually pertain to a non-life-threatening situation. Think about the moment when one character may say to the other, “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

The consequences of their actions are also important to make this work well. If the consequences are going to completely derail the goal they are trying to achieve, you may not be able to get the friendship vibe across. It’s easy to justify the reason the character is speaking up is partially selfish—they don’t want this character screwing everything up!

But, one thing you can do, is make the character’s actions have a small negative effect on the goal. Imagine George is about to do a risky magical ritual that involves starting a decent sized fire. Thomas wonders, “Are you sure this is a good idea?” To which George might response, “It’s okay, I’ll be fine. I know what I’m doing,” prompting Thomas’ indignant response: “I wasn’t worried about you. If you start a fire, the smoke will attract the monster right to us before we’re ready.”

Maybe that’s true…or maybe Thomas is in denial of how much he’s starting to care for George.

Question 3: At what point would your character sacrifice something for the other’s benefit?

When you hear the word “sacrifice” in fiction, you’re likely to conjure up all these visuals of one character jumping in front of a bullet to save the other, but it does not need to be that dramatic. In fact, in most cases, it probably shouldn’t be that dramatic.

If George lost his cloak amidst some kind of scuffle, and while taking first watch at night, Thomas notices him shivering in his sleep. If he removes his own cloak and gives it to George, that is a self-sacrificing action that speaks volumes. He is giving up his own warmth and comfort for his new friend.

So what scene/s or moment/s can you write to show this self sacrifice?

Question 4: And finally, at what point do your characters show their concern without a mask?

This is the moment you and your readers have been waiting for. If your character friendship is a focal point of the story, this moment is likely going to be your climax, but it may also be a midpoint climax or turning point just before the big battle at the end. Everything’s on the table, potentially even the lives of your two main characters.

At this point, Thomas has come to like George. He isn’t afraid to speak up when George gets a little reckless, and he’s willing to sacrifice his own needs for George. And now, Thomas is so bonded to George that he cannot help the emotions that erupt when George’s needs are at risk. And if we’re at the climax, his “needs,” could actually be his literal survival.

If you’ve done everything right leading up to this point, this moment of pain and fear and worry is going to be earned. Your readers will get all the feels and may even be brought to tears. It’s a payoff worth working for.

Bringing It Together

In this article, I’ve addressed 12 questions you should ask yourself when developing a friendship in fiction. If you’re not sure where to start, start here. Answer these 12 questions:

1. What common goal will your characters share?

2. How can your characters help each other achieve this goal?

3. Are both of your characters open to receiving this help?

4. How do your characters meet?

5. What do your characters need to know about each other to attain their goal?

6. What should your characters know about each other to become friends?

7. How can you foreshadow the reveals you listed in questions 5 and 6?

8. How do your characters converse?

9. At what point would your character miss the other if they left?

10. At what point would your character speak up out of obligation to protect the other?

11. At what point would your character sacrifice something for the other’s benefit?

12. At what point do your characters show their concern without a mask?

As you’re answering these questions, you’ll end up brainstorming ideas for subplots and even specific scenes, which will help you in plotting your novel around this friendship. If you have an outline for your novel already, then start working these subplot and scene ideas into that outline. If you don’t yet have an outline, the ideas you brainstorm here could be the start of one.

At the end of the day, friendships typically develop slowly over time. When you think about this challenge as a process with stages and progression, you’re less likely to rush the friendship. And that will only add to its authenticity.

Happy writing!